Feeling Contemplative

For the life of me I could not sleep last night. (Probably because I lounged around all weekend trying to recover from NYC...) But still! I think part of the problem is I have been feeling quite contemplative lately...about basically everything in my life. Since my thoughts were random in and out of trying to fall asleep, I will try to capture some things with bullet points.

• Even if I teach until I'm 80 how am I ever going to feel like I'm doing enough? There is so much for students to learn - about math & life & slope & love & graphing on a coordinate plane & relationships & how in the world am I going to fit it all in? I need these kids of mine to change the world - I need them to inspire one another (& inspire me!) to fix the mistakes of the past and continue some of the good things we already have going on. How am I helping them to do all that?
• What about these students who just don't care one way or another? Are they happy in school? Do they absolutely dread each school day - and is there a better way to help them learn? When did the wonder & curiosity & joy of learning leave them? And how in the world do I get it back???
• The world is a big place. On a daily basis I hear about, read about, or think about new places I want to see. (Teaching with other teachers who love to travel doesn't really help this...) How am I going to ever feel like I have seen everything I could or want to? Who am I going to go on all these adventures with? Just a few places I am dying to see/visit: Boston, Australia/New Zealand, Argentina, Chile, Spain, California, Seattle, Colorado, every MLB stadium, etc. (yes I will see a game in Yankee Stadium even if it kills my soul...)
  
• On the subject of travel: there is nothing like perusing a guide book of a new country to make you realize you haven't even see the majority of your own country. I think I need to spend at least two weeks road tripping across the United States. This needs to happen within the next year. Next question: do I go east or west from Minnesota?
• In two years (yeah, yeah, I know it's still a long time from now...but these last 3 months have felt like 3 days!) will I be ready to move back to Minnesota? Can I handle packing up and starting somewhere new and starting over? Will I want to stay another year in Colombia? If I move back to Minnesota will I be so elated to be back with my family and friends that moving to any other place would seem silly?
• AND if I'm not back in Minnesota in two years, but instead somewhere else, at what point will the life I had there cease to exist as I remember it? In 2 - 3 years will I be the girl who has these awesome stories & adventures, but ends up at all my friends' weddings & baby showers & grad school graduations alone?

Whew! Told you there was a lot! In conclusion we will see where life takes me, I guess... Finally, I leave you with some life inspiration from today's email correspondence with my father:

There is no path to peace; peace is the path. -Ghandi