May 22, 2011

About Me

Recently I added some additional pages to my blog, one of them being an about me page. I sat down to write it this week in about ten minutes... thinking to myself, how hard can it be, after all, I know myself better than anyone, right?


Except an about me page is probably the weirdest thing ever to try to write. We aren't conditioned to write about ourselves, about what makes us tick inside, about what makes us unique, about why you should even read what I have to say in the first place.

I went over to my about me section on Facebook looking for some inspiration. Turns out that wasn't any help, because it was something I wrote during my senior year of college two years ago. I deleted it immediately and then realized I had two about me sections to fill in instead of just one.

I guess I could just leave them blank. Who needs an about me section anyway? Either read or don't read, right?

Then again, at some point, at some age, at some place in life, shouldn't you be able to define who you are without having to think about it for too long? I mean, what makes me ME, anyway?

There are some things I do know for certain:
  • Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who had one specific group of friends that held together through all the chapters of life. But when I think about the friends I have from so many different places and times in life - and the way they all blend together seamlessly when I bring them together, I am so grateful.
  • I am passionate. About living. About what I believe in. About the power of our choices. About being the best version of myself.
  • I will never be someone who travels full time or indefinitely. Minnesota isn't just a place I want to call home from ages 2-22, I want to call it home forever.
  • That said, travel will always be a part of my life. I never want to lose that sense of adventure or that awesome sense of excitement/fear that comes from going somewhere new.
  • I work hard to maintain my relationships and I demand the same in return. Even though I know it makes me selfish sometimes.
  • For all my skepticism and sarcasm, I want "real love, ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other-love" just like Carrie Bradshaw. ;)
  • I make to do lists for the point of organization as much as I do for the feeling of being able to cross things off of them.
  • Whether we have been friends for one year or 20, I will remember your birthday. I will most likely send you something in the mail if I cannot be there in person. And it will get there in time. In fact, probably early.
  • I love my birthday just as much as I love everyone else's. So yes, if we are friends your calendar better have big circles around the date July 20. You don't need to plan me a party, buy me a present or do anything crazy, but you darn well better acknowledge it.
  • I don't forgive and forget as easily as I wish I could.
  • I have trouble showing people the side of me that doesn't have it all together.
  • I look at each of my younger brothers with an overwhelming sense of pride and unconditional love. I will never stop striving to be the very best big sister I can be to them.
  • I am scared of not having enough time with the people I love. If I could go back I would tell the 19-year-old me to call my grandma every single day I could have.
  • I love math, but I am a teacher first and foremost because of the relationships I have with my students. Every kid needs to know that they matter and they need adults in their lives to remind them of that every day.
  • That time when people are getting off work, heading home, going out to happy hour with friends, running errands, figuring out evening plans, putting some hot dogs on the grill with a beer in hand is my favorite time of day. It's like the "work hard" part of the day is ending, but the "play hard" part of the day is just beginning.
  • I love quotes, dramatic television series and long conversations with old friends because the idea that someone else has been there is incredibly important to me.
  • I want my relationships to mean something real, every day. Even if we don't talk every day or if we get busy and life happens. Even if we live in different places, I want it to mean something. I want it to mean that we will be there for each other, that we will support each other, that we will love each other.
Is this mess of haphazard bullet points everything you need to know about me? Is this what makes me ME?

In thinking about me here's the not-so-direct conclusion I came to. I will never be someone who can answer that question with the neat one paragraph answer I want for my blog. I am complicated in a million different ways. I am the sum (heyyyy math brain) of my experiences, my relationships, my parents, my choices and my life.

Going forward, I will change and stay the same in a million tiny ways every day, so here's what I know about me without a doubt.

Today matters. To me. For me. The choices, the attitude, the person I am. It matters. I matter. who wants to write a one paragraph "about me" section for me?

Could you write one for yourself?


kelsi said...

You know yourself WAY better than I did at your age (and probably my current age as well) and I also feel for someone to write about his or herself well, they really need to to know themselves...which you definitely do!

Steph said...

Yea, I agree with Kelsi. I'm a walking series of contradictions and highly doubt I can organize them into bullet points let alone a neat little compact paragraph! I have to say, I admire the fact that you know you always want to return to minnesota. That's something that has always been difficult for me. For five years I was convinced I would never go back to New York, that I would live in London forever, and then I was pretty sure my life was meant to be lived in San Francisco and now I'm talking about marrying my Colombian boyfriend and building a house here. Go figure...

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